With a title like 9 Ways Anyone Can Instantly Be More Attractive, you would think that I would pull a switcheroo and exclusively talk about the importance of feeling your feelings, self-love, character development, and being in integrity and generally feeling alive in your life. You know… things that make you shine from the inside out.
And guess what… your love for yourself, your life, the people around you, and the entire world are exactly the things that count most in terms of your overall beauty and attractiveness. But there’s another aspect to take into account: feeling sexy, beautiful, nourished, and at home in your body.
So today, I’m going full-on superficial mode and talking about some real surface level stuff for a change of pace.
Let’s get into it!
1. Make better eye contact
Confidence is sexy. One of the fastest ways to display more confidence? Make better eye contact.
Strong, solid eye contact is something that tends to bring up social tension. You know who can handle a good degree of social tension? Attractive people who aren’t afraid of human connection.
If you usually have fairly flighty eyes and find it hard to settle into yourself when making direct eye contact with someone, then this will be a vital growth edge for you.
You can get away with less eye contact while you’re speaking, but while you’re listening to someone you’ll really want to give them your full attention (and more eye contact than you might be used to).
In terms of the quality of your eye contact, the emotional tone matters.
Think direct, but not intimidating. Clear and open, but not intense. Relaxed… no furrowed brows or subtle jaw tension.
If you really want to supercharge your abilities, get a willing friend, set a timer and make eye contact for five minutes. This will rapidly help you to get over the discomfort you might experience while looking people in the eyes. And speaking of eyes…
2. Use a daily, high quality under eye serum
They say that the eyes are the window to the soul. If your ‘windows’ are puffy and wrinkly, then there’s something you can do to improve that.
I use a daily eye serum called Eye Rescue Formula that I swear by. You can use it in the morning, or in the evening, or both. With quality ingredients like coenzyme Q10, kojic acid, green tea and vitamin E, you’ll see a difference within a matter of days. If you’re looking for another option, I’ve heard great things about this under-eye product as well.
3. Say ‘Hello’ like you are singing happy birthday
I first heard this concept in one of my all-time favourite fiction books (Wild Nights by David Deida).
Regardless of whether you are greeting someone you know or don’t know, greet them with the warmth of how you would wish someone a happy birthday. In other words, with presence, love, attentiveness, excitement, and care.
Everyone has the inherent desire to feel seen, recognized, and valued. This tip is a short-cut to that end result.
Show people love throughout all of your interactions with them, but especially when greeting them. Set the tone right off the bat and it’ll be that much easier to carry it out throughout the conversation because you’ll have already set the context.
And no, you don’t have to literally ‘sing’ hello to them. It’s merely the subtextual love and care that I’m speaking to.
4. Lip exfoliation
To be honest, I didn’t even consider this to be a thing until about a year ago. Maybe it was in women’s magazines all along… but this tip came out of left field for me when I first heard about it.
Once or twice per week, gently rub an exfoliating pad or exfoliating glove along your lips (while in the shower is usually easiest).
Doing this will get rid of all of the residual dead skin-gunk that can accumulate over time (especially in the colder months), and make your lips that much more kissable and fresh looking.
Here’s a mid-post reminder to remember that YOU ARE LOVEABLE, beautiful, and whole as a person without doing any of the things in this list. You are awesome. And you are inherently deserving of love and kindness. All of these tips are for people looking to pour more love into themselves and present themselves as shinier, healthier people to the world… for their own sake. Again, this all comes down to self-love… which is what makes people truly shine from the inside out.
With that little disclaimer out of the way, here’s something I’ve been really digging over the last two months…
5. Red light therapy for healing skin blemishes and scarring, and wrinkle reduction
Have you ever heard of red light therapy? Until two months ago, I hadn’t.
There have been hundreds of studies done on red light therapy, and near-infrared light therapy.
The gist of the findings is that using red light therapy and NIR light drastically aid in skin rejuvenation, wound healing, scar tissue healing, acne scar healing, fine line and wrinkle reduction, and a whole host of other benefits.
Again, proven science. I could link to a TON of clinical research. Here are a few pieces if you’re interested – research, research, research, more research, huzzah!
Literally within THREE DAYS of 10 minutes of daily red light therapy use I thought to myself “Damn! I should have taken photos before day one because the results are already so obvious.”
Because I value time efficiency and I wanted the highest quality option on the market, I went with the Joovv model that combines both LED red light and near-infrared technology simultaneously. It has become a staple in my daily routine (5-10 minutes in the morning and 5-10 minutes at night) and I now swear by it.
If you want to boost the collagen production in your skin, reduce fine lines and wrinkles, and make the mitochondria in your body that much happier, I can’t recommend this product highly enough. I don’t even care if I sound like a Kool-Aid slamming cult leader… this thing has worked magic for me since I picked it up. I feel like I have more clean-burning energy to run on, 24/7, and my skin is happier and healthier than ever since I started using it.
6. Sleep well, drink more water, and reduce sugar intake
Some of the best things you can do to be and appear more healthy, energetic, and fresh faced are prioritizing quality sleep, drinking more water, and reducing your sugar intake.
If you’re always tired, are chronically dehydrated, and eat a diet high in processed foods, it will show on your face within a matter of days. Your cortisol (stress hormone) will be through the roof, your sex drive will plummet, and your body will be upset with you.
For more info on sleeping better, click here. Reducing your sugar intake and eating healthier, click here. And you already know how to drink more water. Just buy a beautiful, aluminum water bottle that you like and fill it up a few times per day. Or drink lemon water… That stuff is delicious.
7. Dress in a way that highlights your shape
The fastest way you can be more attractive when it comes to what clothes you put on your body is to dress in a way that highlights and really owns your unique shape.
This tip isn’t so much about just wearing tighter fitting clothes to show off your height, or weight, or curves, etc. – but rather it’s about displaying your radical self-acceptance to the world. So opt for form-fitting jeans, custom tailored suits, and outfits that show the world what you’re working with.
More often than not, people that wear loose fitting clothing do so to hide from the world. When you wear an outfit that your body is drowning in, it can come across as a subtle form of self-rejection (as in, I don’t want to show people what I actually look like under here).
But, when it comes to style, nothing is ever black and white. Ultimately, wear whatever makes you feel the sexiest.
8. Spend extra time on your oral hygiene
Bad breath stinks, and is one of the most universally unattractive things.
While hygiene in general is important, I would say that oral hygiene is doubly so.
Your mouth doesn’t ask for much from you. Would it kill you to give it 5-10 minutes a day of focused love? No. No it wouldn’t.
After you’ve exfoliated your lips (re: tip#4) try on the following as a regular oral hygiene routine.
- Use an electric toothbrush with a built-in timer on it (so you know that you’re brushing for a full two minutes)
- Floss daily
- Use a natural toothpaste (like this one or this one)
- Use a tongue scraper
- Occasionally use teeth whitening strips if you’re looking to boost your teeth-whiteness
9. Spend more on your haircuts, shoes, and cologne/perfume
Of all of the things that you spend money on when it comes to being more presentable and attractive to the world, I would vote that you especially shouldn’t skimp on your haircuts, your shoes, and any scent that you wear on a daily basis.
For men, the difference between a $20 Supercuts-special and a $60 haircut from a barber or stylist is exponential. Ditto for women (especially if you’re getting your hair coloured in any way). You get what you pay for.
In terms of your outfit, shoes tend to get noticed more than any other item that you wear. If you’re wearing $30 running shoes (especially when you aren’t even in the gym), that’s going to get noticed in a negative way. Whereas if you’re wearing shoes that cost you a pretty penny but they’re unique, well-made, and stylish, then that will get you an entirely different kind of attention. Plus, well-made shoes tend to last for years longer so they pay for themselves in multiple ways (longevity AND positive attention).
Same goes for cologne or perfume. Ditch the cheap, drug store brands and invest in something that turns heads (or noses).
How many people do you know that consistently smell amazing? And I’m talking amazing in a way that has you want to hug the person longer just so you can inhale their delicious scent. Probably not that many. So guess what? YOU can be one of those people!
Personally, I use a fragrance called Radio Bombay (that has a lot of high quality sandalwood oil in it, so it isn’t cheap) and I get complimented on it every day that I leave the house. It actually smells so good and gets so many compliments that I almost didn’t share which one I use… but I’m here to give my gifts to the world… so there you go.
On top of that, I also use a paraben and aluminum free natural deodorant called Johnny’s Cash by Routine Cream that I get just as many positive comments on.
Even if you’re a guy, these scents might not appeal to you. But the trick is to find something amazing that stands out and that the people you’re trying to attract are also into. Another good trick is to go deodorant or cologne/perfume shopping with a man/woman (whichever gender you’re attracted to) and ask them what they like. When you find something that you both agree on and love, boom, you’ve found your scent.
That’s it for today! I hope you’ve found a lot of value in this post, and that you enjoyed reading it just as much as I had bringing it all together.